My usual world comes to a halt. Gone. Enclosed in a miserable, colorless, tasteless nausea, an exhausting fog. For days and days, immersed in a framework I do not know, like a young child unconsciously going through life. No mind. No commentator. Never afraid. The world just unfolds around me. After weeks, I was able to walk around a bit, make myself eat something and do puzzles to pass the time. Turns out I had what some have called “long Covid.”
Day 26: The Covid lessons start to emerge. I could see, be curious, and begin to understand what this experience was all about. I was meant to experience deep sickness, something I had escaped in this lifetime. My guides come in and urge me to start listening to Circle of Light recordings and harvest the lessons brought to me through Covid 19. (The Circle of Light consists of twelve Beings of Light who talk about their perspective in the book, The Circle of Light and the Philosopher.)
Day 28: While meditating, I pull everything that arises in my head into my heart and run it through an infinity eight symbol between my heart and thymus (a practice I had learned from the Circle of Light). I’m burning up inside. Life-long scenes of betrayal and separation flash through my mind.
All of a sudden, a vast amount of energy gushes to the very depth of an open cavernous void in my heart! I see that I’m dipping into an eternal spring, a well of infinite support. This substance is pulsing. It’s alive.
I invite the energy in. I ask my guides for support. Please direct me, please help me surrender my old perspective. Let me fully engage in this deep, expanded way of being, right here, right now in the world.
Whoosh, all the noise in my head/mind instantly moves into my heart. I’m completely at home, deep within the void in my chest. I find my seat. I’m in a cosmic room of light. I’m being shown a deep, fundamental, way of how things work for humans on Earth!
I’m sitting in with a council which guides humans as they go about their earthly business. I see that I, myself, am a being of light. We all are. I am on planet Earth to have certain experiences, to learn how to function while housed within this biological body-vehicle.
The council tells me, “Learn to do nothing. This does not mean you don’t act in the world. Just learn to constantly observe from your heart. Surrender to the flow that is perpetually occurring beneath the surface. When fear, noise, chaos, distortion, and distractions pull you into your usual mind—immediately dump them all into the loving void inside your chest. It is within this magical void that everything manifests. Energy becomes constricted when you resist. Energy flows organically, naturally, when you allow it to do its thing. In this way, the old energy is consumed, dissolved, and purified for further creative potential.” Wow.
This ever-moving energy relieves, consoles, releases, and heals. There is no mind, no analysis, no commentator in this frequency; there is a calm, quiet peace and a wonderful sense of the unknown—without the usual, unconscious, underlying fear.
Day 33: I’m learning! I’m reminded to bring everything into my heart several times a day. I find myself walking untethered, free, unencumbered, embodied on planet Earth in my bio-vehicle. I can observe the wonderment of creation. Thank you.