This post is #5 in the blog series: Heart. See the series overview page for a list of all posts.
We’ve been looking at how we can learn to let our hearts lead us instead of our heads. Allowing the heart to lead is a magnificent way to get to know who we really are, and why we behave in the way that we do. It’s also a direct path to experiencing our Higher Power.
The gift of human experience
The Circle of Light is a group of light beings channeled by Georgia Jean. The Circle explains that we have an immense opportunity, which is to live a life as a human being. They tell us that we are here for a reason, “You have come to the Earth plane in order to experience… and having a human body is the quickest way to gain experience.” The Circle explains that we humans reap huge benefits from exploration. They tell us:
“You have an enormous soul-consciousness, and this consciousness loves to explore so much, that it keeps adding new and different things for you to experience.”
They implore us to look at every single part of ourselves, to explore every possible aspect of what it is to be alive. They explain that when we dive deep within ourselves, we receive new encouragement.
“This begins to change the organic game of your environment; it evokes and provokes new levels and new flavors of teachings to come through. In terms of spiritual understanding, this kind of wisdom has been essential throughout the history of humankind.”
In essence, the Circle asks us to take advantage of our time on Earth. They say that when we choose to have the intention to explore, it accelerates our direction. They exist to support our search. They invite us to get to know the more “unconscious manifested parts” of who we are, and to explore our feelings.
The gift of unconscious beliefs: an exploration
As I look back at my journey, I’ve learned a bit about how the Unified Field works. Often it uses just the right circumstances to deliver important messages for inner growth. I call this the setup. These messages get delivered in all sorts of ways. Some learning opportunities come to us in common ways, like births, deaths, tragedies, celebrations or being out in nature. Other messages come in unique and crazy ways, like dreams, visions, instant downloads, happenstance, or synchronicities. Many potential insights are buried within our everyday thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Sometimes these realizations pop up right out of the blue, completely surprising us. One of these opportunities recently happened to me:
The setup: I’m on my way to a doctor’s appointment. Rain, cars jammed up at traffic lights, waiting, waiting, waiting. Finally arrive at my destination. Can’t find doctor’s office. Not listed on the directory. Discover I’m at the wrong location! How could this be? Confused. Have to travel to the other side of town. Find myself on single laned streets lined with construction cones. Drive on and on. My dyslexia kicks in. Something is wrong. Have no idea where I am. I’m lost. Panic. Holding back tears. Don’t know what to do. Call the office for directions. I’ve been going in the wrong direction! Now crying, driving, creeping along. Finally, get to the correct office. I’m totally disoriented now. Lost. Confused. Alone. Go to the check-in window. Woman says, “You do not have an appointment today. The doctor is not in. You received a call.” (Didn’t.) That can’t be! Ask her to check. “You are not in our records. You haven’t been here for two years.”
Now, I’m completely befuddled. I can’t understand. It’s like I’m invisible, like I don’t exist. I’m in the wrong place. I can’t tell direction. There’s no support!
Driving home from my ghost doctor’s non-appointment, deep fear kicks in. Not knowing where I am. Not understanding what’s going on. There are no placeholders, nothing to attach onto, nothing to count on. It’s so scary, so discombobulating.
When I get home, I make hot tea, intentionally sit, and the inquiry begins. Free floating thoughts, feelings, beliefs flood in. I’m nowhere. No one is around, I’m not on the doctor’s list. I have no records. I’m invisible. I don’t even exist! I’m just floating in space with no attachment, no connection, no control. This feels dreadful.
What am I to learn from these horrible feelings, this unsettling experience? What does it have to teach me?
My ongoing inquiry continues. Later in the day, I realize that I have unconsciously learned to do things, to act, in order to prove that I am actually in this physical world. I act to decrease a more intense suffering of feeling that I don’t exist at all. The act of doing is how I connect to life and to people. I realize my cells are still imprinted with the old child-like need to be seen, heard, validated, loved. When these old needs aren’t met my biological history triggers the feeling that I actually don’t exist! This is like my premature birth experience of being kept in a metal incubator with no windows for twenty-one days, people not allowed to touch me in my metal womb. (link to incubator post) This old, cellular, experience is telling me I don’t actually exist in human form.
Is this true? No. For crying out loud, I’m writing in my journal right now. I do exist. I exist in physical form in Planet Earth. I realize that exploring is helping me break through another hidden obstacle. And I remember, that often when I look into what’s behind my emotions, it opens the door to experiencing the higher realms of energy. Later, while meditating, completely open, reassuring messages gently float in, “You are loved. You exist in your present human body. You also have your own unique strand of the universal life force.” I give great thanks for this information.
In retrospect, I realize that my ghost doctor’s non-appointment was an amazing experience.
The gift of feelings: an exploration
Let’s look at the down-to-Earth work of Jules Taylor Shore. Jules is a dynamic therapist who works spontaneously from the heart. She explains that we need to learn to welcome our feelings, like it or not. The goal is not to make the feelings go away, it’s to discover what our feelings are trying to tell us. (More about this later.)
Jules uses many different modalities of therapy, as long as they are backed by what she knows about the workings of the brain. And what she knows is extensive. Once an auto mechanic, Jules understands the sequence of connections that are needed to make things run smoothy. In a flash of genius, Jules transferred what was needed to fire up a car engine to what was needed to fire up the brain.
For example, just think about your own experience. In times when you find our self highly charged, in trauma mode, your brain won’t listen. It can’ listen. It isn’t capable of understanding in a rational way. And it doesn’t want to listen to any stupid explanations! That’s because, when our systems are charged, the primitive brain stem is trying to protect itself.
On the other hand, when we have calmed down and feel safe, we are able to start listening. We can understand things, comprehend. We can step back and observe. In this calmer frequency learning can occur. Makes sense, huh? Note: Jules teaches a terrific course called Neurobiology of Heart, which I took and highly recommend.
To help us better understand our feelings, I’ve developed a list of ways to explore. This list is a compilation of what I’ve learned from Jules, other teachers, and my own experience of exploration.
Ten ways to explore feelings
- First we have to notice that we are having an emotion.
- Next we need to welcome the feeling. Go ahead, invite it in. We don’t want it to go away. After all, our higher power is sending us this feeling to explore. What are we going to say, “Wrong address, send it back.”?
- Notice where the feeling is in your body. Could be your head, heart, gut, big toe.
- Notice any images, thoughts, body sensations, and any other feelings that may come in.
- Ask, how do I feel towards what’s happening? If you’re having trouble, step back, take a more objective view. Witness. Try going up on the balcony or placing the feeling out in front of you. And then just stop, slow down, and let whatever wants to come, come to you. There is no right or wrong here, no efforting, no trying, just open allowing.
- Try various ways to explore the emotion or sensation. Journal. Draw the feeling on paper. It may be a triangle, circle, spiral, squiggle, or stick figure, who cares. Try using different colors. Hear sounds, smell smells, taste tastes. Pretend you are a young child playing—anything goes. It could even be fun.
- Stick with your exploration, even when you want to leave. The feeling that is presenting is trying to tell you something, give it a chance to give you some information that will help. Note: There are times when it is too painful to dive deep. So, just do as much as you can without putting yourself in more stress. Inquiry is a process, not a marathon. Whatever amount you can do, your heart will appreciate your intention and courage. In response, your heart will lead you forward at a pace that is just right for you.
- Describe whatever happens inside you as best you can. As a teacher once said to me, “If you have a big red radish in your chest, you have a big red radish in your chest.” If you have some discomfort or distress, describe what’s it like—hot, cold, big, small, tense, knotted up, flowing, frozen. Anything goes.
- Talk to the emotion or have it talk to you. No, this is not crazy, it’s just creative. If the green squiggle could speak, what would it say? It just wants to be seen, heard, feel safe, soothed, or know that it matters.
- Finally, no matter what happens, relax, and congratulate yourself for taking the time to learn more about your precious self.
Have fun exploring.