Recently, I came across a journal entry that I wrote many years ago. It records an incident which showed me the stark contrast between my higher and lower levels of human awareness. Both levels, little me and BIG ME, are true. They are just seen from different energetic perspectives. I’ve since discovered how various dimensions and frequencies interweave as I play the game of Life. These energies show up within, and beyond, my human form. They are designed to give me, us, experience in what Life is really all about. These frequencies continue to operate. My immature ego self still comes forward; it is yet another opportunity to see, learn from, and accept my full humanity.
I’m walking along in the garden, when suddenly an image appears in my head. There is a line through this image which separates one side from the other.
BIG Me, my higher Divine Me is on one side of the line.
My little ego me is on the other. “What‘s going on here?”
I see that BIG Me is Majestic, Powerful, Strong and Silent. It has unimaginable steadfastness and indisputable Presence.
My little ego me appears off to the side kicking and screaming. It’s running around in circles, caught up in feelings, darting off into fantasies about tomorrows and old memories. I’m embarrassed. My little me wants to hold onto some “thing,” anything—a thought, image, whatever. It thinks it won’t even exist if it doesn’t grab on to something. This is serious! Now my ego mind is trying to figure things out. Humm, wonder what will happen?
Wait, something deeper, more subtle is going on. Everything is moving. BIG Me is beginning to cross the line! My little ego panics. It doesn’t know what to do.
Now, BIG Me has actually crossed the line. I witness a silent moving-stillness, which is consuming, annihilating, and obliterating the little me, my usual ego self. A refrain from an old song floats into my mind, “One step over the line sweet Jesus, one step over the line.” I start humming.
Over and over and over again my mind keeps slipping away from center focus, going into memories, thoughts, feelings; you name it. Oh wait, there’s something deeper.
BIG Me is shining Its Light. I witness that BIG Me is actually Beingness! My Beingness is here. An unconscious dynamic is going on. Something is watching something. There are two things, which means separation is going on. I have separated from my true self.
My little ego immediately wants to run away. It wants to keep its identity, its familiar territory. I can plainly see that this is my old, conditioned, false, self. And it’s not actually needed.
What a contrast. BIG Me is just here. Silent. Majestic. From Its Presence, from Its very Existence, various qualities arise—Curiosity, Love, Value, Compassion fill the space. There’s virtual joy here, a celebration of discovery.
I notice that my ego me still wants to be superior and have its way. “Bug off buddy! You’re not needed. You’re out of date. You have no warp speed.” I continue to walk, humming, “One step over the line sweet…“