Where is your resistance hiding?

Total Lunar Eclipse above Washington Monument by NASA
“Total Lunar Eclipse: Dec. 21, 2010” by NASA HQ | CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.

Most of us have built some kind of stone-like fortress inside, while on a larger scale an entire world is available to explore. (In the image above, note the beautiful eclipse displaying to the right.) But we don’t notice the larger picture. We close ourselves up. We wall ourselves off. In these moments, our world is reduced to only what we see through our beady little eyes or tiny slits of perception. When we do this, it means we are resistant to the actual flow of life’s energy. We don’t want to go beyond what we already know. We want to stay with what is familiar. Subconsciously, we are afraid of our higher selves. Resistance is about avoiding the magnificence of who we really are. But that is problematic because the Circle of Light says,

“You cannot resist yourself if you want to expand yourself.”

And we want to expand ourselves! We want to grow into our most authentic, our most powerful selves. We’re going for the gold! (See my blog post for January 1, 2022.)

We all have resistance

The Circle of Light tells us that “Resistance is a part of human experience…this means it is held in a shape, a form, and it [the energy] resists moving into something else.” Resistance occurs to shake things up a bit. When things aren’t going as we wish, there is variance between what we want to experience and what we are actually experiencing. This causes abrasion and friction. This very discord makes us take notice. It urges us to do something different. It’s like sand in the oyster, causing a pearl.

Noted therapists and teachers use friction in their healing therapies. Jules Taylor Shore says, “There is no way to avoid resistance. It’s just part of being a human. It comes with the territory.”

Dr. Sue Morter agrees:

“Awakening happens through friction…without friction, we can’t gain awareness about which parts of ourselves are still in the dark; we need to be jostled out of our status quo in order to see where we need to redirect and reintegrate our energy. You want to hold onto your old blueprint, but this is operating from old news.”

The Circle of Light says:

“The old blueprint is not who you are. It’s a sham. This is not your true creative power…You came to Earth to create a new experience. Your spirit came to create the shift from 3D to 5D…It’s time to come out of the shadows and let a grander, more encompassing aspect of yourself shine through…You don’t have to tackle the whole thing, just stay open enough to let the mystery come to you.”

Our resistance is a doorway to spiritual growth. The Circle of Light explains, “Resistance is what comes at the exact times that you need to look at your obstacles. It is designed to help you be creative and move on.”

Matt Kahn says the same thing.

“Perception of discomfort, negative feelings, or resistance is one of your fiercest teachers and allies. It is the consciousness of your highest unconscious-self to ensure you gain the necessary depth of experiences to see what you are meant to see at exactly the point you are meant to see it. This experience is meant for you to gain insight and move on to the next level of expansion.”

Dr. Sue says in her book Energy Codes:

“We do have a choice about where our friction occurs: in our inner world at the energy level or in the outer world at the level of story….Shifting your orientation from the mind to the body, from thinking to feeling, from rationalizing to sensing, will initiate a drastic shift in perception.”

The Circle of Light concurs, telling us, “The key is that humans can learn to have [their] resistance work for them.” So, let’s take a look at how resistance actually shows up in our personal lives. Since resistance is designed specifically for us, we need to be able to identify when it is occurring so that we can learn to use our resistance to work for us, rather than limit us. I invite you to consider the following possibilities and decide which aspects of resistance most resonate with you:

Resistance shows up in thoughts and actions

It may show up disguised as a head stuffed with unwanted thoughts or how we obsess about all the things that are wrong in the world. We moan, whine, fret, become disgruntled and voice our dismay over and over again. Resistance occurs when we are in opposition—to ourselves, to others, and Life Itself. This is how we energetically spread our negativity out into the world. Resistance also sneaks in subconsciously. This is when we escape being in the present moment. Maybe we spend lots of time trolling the web, checking our incoming messages, or pigging out on games or TV. All of these behaviors can keep us away from our deeper selves.

Resistance shows up in feelings and re-actions

We find ourselves feeling sad, bored, fearful, ashamed, or irritated, but we ignore these feelings. We just move on. Sometimes this is ok, but actually our feelings want, and need, to be explored if we really want to know who we are. There are times we get emotionally charged. We get triggered, but instead of dealing with our underlying feelings, we re-act once again by retreating, blaming, or becoming antagonistic. This too is a form of resistance which locks us into our old patterns.

Fears, buried from childhood show up unconsciously. Maybe we have a subtle sense that something is wrong, we don’t feel safe, we are all alone, there is no support. I’ll tell you what happened to me the other day: I set off to do errands, driving from place to place. I noticed that each time I got back into the car, I would feel a very subtle fear. Huh? I decided to pay more attention. This fear had been totally unconscious, but in the moment, I was experiencing this fear on an inner, energetic, level. Suddenly a series of painful childhood incidents flashed through my head. I was in a car. I was afraid but had no way to speak or escape. The experience was dreadful. I stayed with it, and then spontaneously, I started to use the infinity eight symbol to clear this old energy. (See my blog post Heart Series #7.) Thankfully, by the time I arrived home, my old fear had been released.

The is an example of how old phantom imprints show up and give us grief. But when we stay with them, we find they are an opportunity to dive more deeply into our truth. Sometimes it takes a courageous heart to explore and discover the message that lays beneath the feeling.

Resistance shows up in the body

When we experience aches, pains, headaches, and sore spots, they are usually signs of unconscious resistance. (This was a hard lesson for me to learn.) When we become tired and listless for no reason, it is also a sign that we are in resistance.

On a more subtle level, resistance physically whispers to us through images, pictures, words, sounds, memories, colors, and various configurations. When we learn to look inside, we will find that resistance comes in an infinite assortment of sizes, shapes, and textures. We may experience resistance internally as thick, thin, brittle, strong, sticky, hot, cold, light, or whatever. We may have subtle inner sensations that are experienced as gauze, burlap, or canvas.

Resistance can descend like a heavy fog. It can block our higher-self and cover up what’s really going on underneath. Resistance can blast out from nowhere, ruining our day and leaving us feeling agitated, depressed, irritated, or confused. Resistance can make our body shake, tremble, spasm, or jerk to release energy that has been trapped inside. Resistance can come as waves of energy, gusts of chi, or bursts of life force that are trying to get our attention, trying to be set free. The heartening thing is, when we attend to our resistance, amazing things can happen.

Enlightening sensations, and intimate understandings, can suddenly pop into our consciousness. This feels awesome, wonderful, and greatly reinforces our trust in the journey. (You will know when this happens.)

Now let’s recap

  • We all have resistance.
  • Resistance is a doorway to spiritual growth.
  • Resistance shows up in innumerable ways—thoughts, actions, feelings, reactions, body sensations. Resistance can whisper to us from our deepest core.

If we pay attention, we will come to realize when, and how, we are experiencing resistance. We will know these are times that we are denying certain parts of our self because we don’t have a full picture of who we really are. So, we get to work on exploring. We want to develop a courageous heart. We want to have the ability to stay with, and learn from, our resistance. We want to be able to stand tall in the face of discomfort. We want to discover how this enhances our life and moves us toward the Truth. Remember:

“You cannot resist yourself if you want to expand yourself. The key is that humans can learn to have resistance work for them.”

Next time let’s talk about how to release our resistance so that we can convert our old energy into new positive energy that works for us and the world.

Make the call: Connect today

“Pipsqueak Star Unleashes Monster Flare” by NASA Goddard Photo and Video | CC BY 2.0

Contact your higher power. Don’t be shy. Make the call. Calling in our higher power works. It doesn’t matter if we’re coming from our usual 3D egoic perspective or we’re flying in our higher 5D dimensions. (See my blog series on Moving from 3D to 5D Dimensions of Reality.) The fact is, we can all make the call. We all have the power to contact our higher selves. It’s just a matter of tuning in to the right frequency. So, let’s take a look at what a few spiritual teachers say about connecting with our higher selves.

Thomas Hubl explains:

Tuning into your higher self is like turning to the correct radio channel. You need to find the correct frequency wave. You may want to listen to 101.3 FM, but if your energy is at 99.6 FM, you’ll just get frustrated because your personal energy system is not wired to your higher frequency. You’re not plugged into the right kind of power outlet, the one that energizes life.

When I was a student of Thomas, he talked about how to go about finding the higher connection:

Developing an inner environment of stillness, coherence, presence, and timelessness is key. You need to learn to listen to the whisper.…You need to develop your inner body competence so your instrument will be attuned.…You need your own silence time to deepen your quality of listening, to listen to your own whisper, your own space and energy, which is movement. For many people, in the beginning, space is a kind of not doing, not filled with meaning. But spaciousness is a truly important inner aspect.…If there is a gap between energy streams it means you need to change what you are doing because prior decisions, karmic circumstances, and how you view life creates how your life looks today.

The Circle of Light agrees. They explain that we are actually “masters of consciousness.” We are creating our own world according to our own perceptions. The Circle says:

Clean out old concepts, beliefs, and material.…Get in touch with your love of self, your true self…the vibrational frequencies that you are putting out resonate on that level and draw that kind of loving experience into your life.…Get yourself into a good place. Do the visualizations, imagine, see what you desire. Feel into it. Work with your brain chemistry. Work with shifting what is emanating from your being with creative thoughts and designs. Feel the emotional energy.…One action from an inspired place is far more powerful than a hundred actions from a fear-based place…then wait and take the action that is inspired.…You will know when you are supposed to act because you are allowing your higher power to emerge.

Dr. Sue Morter echoes the perspective that we are our own “life’s creator, consciously manifesting what we believe….We are integrated, multidimensional beings made of pure energy…the degree to which we know this truth about ourselves, is the degree to which we live either in pain or bliss.” Dr. Sue gives us both hope and a method to change our life through a grounded chakra-body-breath perspective. In her book Energy Codes she says:

Everything is energy….When we start to identify as an energy being, we start to see everything differently….Energy is malleable and changeable, which means we can change how we live….Instead of operating as if life is happening to us, we can learn to transcend our primitive brain….We don’t have to keep getting stuck operating as a fear-based, problem solving, surviving presence that is just trying to make do and get by….We can rise up to our higher brain and become our truest selves…We can learn to operate from a place of creativity and genius….We are designed to be much more. We are designed to be pure intelligent energy—blazing and alive. Most people don’t know about the connection, how it works, how we can learn to experience life in an exalted, specific, and orderly way.

The Energy Code practices are laid out to show us how we can attain and live from our higher power. These practices teach us how to build our electromagnetic and neurological circuits so we can cut a pathway through our energetic areas which have developed gaps or are blocked. Dr. Sue explains that:

When we do the work to re-train our nervous systems, we start to be stimulated in a more balanced and natural fashion…we start to shift from sensing that ‘something is wrong, something is not right’ to deeply knowing that all is well….We are OK…Life is here to support us.…We can actually live as this reality, reliably and consistently throughout our daily waking, walking lives.

Pretty neat, huh? So, why not wire up. Let’s go ahead and learn what we need to do in our own unique way. After all, from the deepest, highest, quantum frequency, the higher power is here for us.

Dawson Church also gives us hope and yet another method to connect in his course 21 Days to Higher Power. He says:

In some of the retreats I’ve taught, we’ve measured people’s brain waves before and after the retreat. In just seven days, they acquire the same brain-wave patterns as adepts who’ve spent 10,000 hours in meditation. That’s the advantage of a science-based approach. It’s really all up to you. You can ignore your HP and focus on other things. You have the option of choosing ignorance, drama, misery, stress, negative thinking, pessimism, depression, anxiety, and all the other items on the menu of normal human thinking or you can connect with your HP.

Church says:

Even though you don’t know what vibration levels are or to which one you might ascend, your Higher Power does. Simply ask, ‘Higher Power, lift my consciousness to the highest possible vibrational level.’ When you’re in elevated states, this request enables your Higher Power to bring you to even higher states of consciousness. When you’re struggling with negative emotion, you may not be able to achieve an elevated state, but this request at least opens the possibility of being lifted above where you are. This request signals your Higher Power that you are willing to move as high up the vibrational ladder as you possibly can. That’s why it’s the perfect petition for every stage of the path.

Well, this feels like a good place to wrap up this exploration of connecting with our higher power. We’ve just scratched the surface. There are so many teachers and methods and practices. We’ve only looked at four. I guess what’s best is to keep our hearts and minds open and follow the guidance that resonates with us. The connection to our higher power is important. Oh, wait a moment, I just got a download. This connection is who we are! Nothing is more important. A connection to our higher power is a connection not only to ourselves, but to humanity, and to the One Field that we are. So, let’s do it. Let’s do the work. Let’s find our way to connect consciously in an on-going way.

Oh, I just got another download. I’m going to do the Heart Protocol exercise Heart Series #8 and ask the heart questions for us all. Here goes…

My heart, my heart, what do you want us to know right now?

Answer that came for us: You are loved. You add to the world.

My heart, my heart, what do you need from us right now?

Answer that came for us: Dedication, commitment, trust, and love.

My heart, my heart, what do you wish for humanity now?

Answer that came for us: Yes, dear ones, we wish you to have the intention to wake up. Listen. Watch. Be diligent. Focus on the light inside of you. We will meet you there. This light is for you to be free, to see, to play, and Be. You are a child of Life, of God, of Beingness—whatever you chose to call it. Go ahead. Just Be. No analysis, no judgement required. Just you, naked as the Light of Life. Take the risk. Continue to move towards being who you really are. Ask for us. We are here. We bless you and your race. You are courageous.

Poem by Rumi on the theme of leaving the window open

The Guest House

​This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

​Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

​The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

​Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

​Source: “Rumi: Selected Poems” by Rumi, translated by Coleman Barks (Penguin Classics, 2004)

Waking up is a participatory sport

“Starry ceiling – Spiritual Center” by UMHealthSystem | CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

How do we climb out of our egoic boxes and move through our doorway of consciousness?

Waking up is a participatory sport. If we just have the idea of advancing on our path, not much will happen. We all know people who live their entire lives without once giving a thought to higher dimensions, oblivious to who they really are and what their life could be. Very few people pay any attention to their higher powers. That’s sad because everyone on the planet has their own higher frequency and has access to that essential power. The truth is that our higher power knows who we are and is already sending us signals.

We already have access. As the Circle of Light says:

Every day your spiritual wisdom is unfolding. What you’ve attained through millions of lifetimes in all dimensions, all realms, is available for you to draw upon if you allow. Become the superhuman you were meant to be. Become aware viscerally of who you are. You are so much more than the person you created to play in this game of life. You are infinite Intelligence and Creativity.

Dawson Church adds:

You don’t need to know anything about higher vibrations. Leave it up to your Higher Power. (You are still waking up even when you don’t understand.) Your Higher Power isn’t physical and lives only at the level of energy, consciousness, and vibration. It’s the expert in this field. You don’t have to understand it. You don’t have to know what a high vibrational state is. You simply ask Higher Power to bring you to the highest possible vibrational level and trust it to do the work.

How do we actually participate in our waking up?

But how do we climb through the doorway of our consciousness in a conscious manner?

I have found that participation is key. It actually happens on multiple levels, and various frequencies. It can be a bit tricky to catch. So, let’s see if we can make the process of participation a bit more transparent.

First of all, the various frequencies and stages of conscious participation will swirl and circle around. They will intertwine and combine. Our insights will twist and turn. Our awareness and breakthroughs will not necessarily be sequential. We may have a new egoic or spiritual insight at any moment, and then have that same kind of “knowing” arise later on, but in a very different frequency—often at a more intense, profound level. What makes the process of participation perplexing is that we are participating both knowingly and unknowingly. Let’s take a look at the process of participation. Every one of us is unique. Each of us is on our own unique journey. So, as we examine the various ways we can participate, be on the lookout for what resonates for you.

Moving towards something: At times, we may feel that we are moving towards something, not even knowing what that something is. We may find ourselves drawn to a certain book. A certain passage might excite us, light us up. A certain teaching or teacher may attract us. When I was in college many years ago, I loved reading the Bagavad Gita, but had no idea why. Sometimes a certain course, or teacher, may pop up on our computer screen. Somehow, we are drawn to it. I remember when I first heard Thomas Hübl speak on my computer, I felt that my words were coming out of his mouth. I was hooked. It turned out that he was the perfect teacher for me at the time. He helped me immensely. Another time I signed up for a computer course in sacred readings with Suzanne Giesemann. I had no idea why. I didn’t even believe in readings! But it turned out that going beyond the physical dimension set me on fire. Now I do spiritual readings for people around the world. So, be on the lookout for what attracts you. The amazing thing is we don’t have to understand why. We may never understand, but this process of moving towards something is waking us up.

Climbing out: There comes a time in our journey when we’re sick and tired of the same old, same old. We want to climb out of our usual perspective. We want to move beyond our repetitive thoughts and behaviors. We realize that our familiar self is actually limiting us. We want more. But our conditioned egoic mind wants us to stay in the same old framework because that’s where it feels familiar.

When we get to the point that we really want out, we will pay more attention to our every day beliefs, habits, and patterns of behavior. We will knowingly participate. We have an intention to climb. We have anintention to do the work. As Thomas Hübl says, “we want to start living on a different highway.” And heads up, when we do wander outside our familiar selves, it will feel uncomfortable. We can feel lost, overwhelmed, bewildered. And this can happen at any point in our journey.

Climbing out of our ego trap takes trust, commitment, and dedication. (I’m still watching and climbing out of my ego-self on a day-by-day basis.) This is when it’s good to remember that our higher power is more Intelligent than our physical, analyzing, mind. Our higher power knows how to move us. It will guide us. It wants us to ask and allow. Even though it takes effort and attention to climb out, going beyond the usual is well worth the effort.

Feeling the pull: As we climb out, we will still feel the pull, but it begins to be at a deeper level. Now we want to discover our higher power, a higher order of love beyond ego. We want to be part of the ongoing movement to help the human race move forward with compassion and connectiveness. (See my blog series Moving from 3D to 5D Dimensions of Reality.) We somehow know that living from the higher frequencies will be an entirely different way to experience life. We understand that, as a global society, we are still consciously and unconsciously limited by the template that has been passed down through thousands of years of human experience. And our pull moves us forward into…

Moving with something: At yet another level of participation, we find that we are magically moving with something, even though we may still not know what that something is. (And remember, we don’t have to know because our higher power always knows.) When we feel we are moving with something, it means we are breaking through our current spiritual ceiling. This occurrence is an inside job. We are actually co-creating with our higher power, even though we may not yet see it that way.

Thomas Hübl often says that we need to learn to “listen to the whisper.” We need to attune to the subtle information that is already coming in from our higher dimensions, from our higher power. Dawson Church explains,

Your Higher Power lives at a high vibrational level. That’s the level of love, peace, joy, and complete enlightenment. Higher Power reaches down to connect with you, but because it isn’t physical, it can’t get all the way down to the human level. That’s why you have to lift your vibrational level to at least some degree. You then get high enough to meet and connect.

We can cultivate a relationship with our higher power. It’s here with us right now. So why not take the time? As the Circle of Light says, “Allow your own personal secret to unlock within you. Imagine with each breath that you are drawing in another aspect of your Wisdom.” When we do the work of meditating, paying attention, contemplating, and staying present, we raise our vibrational level. When this happens, we are given gifts that go far beyond our wildest imaginations. We discover there is no separation between ourselves and the quantum energy realms. We experience multi-dimensional frequencies. We may slip into past lives. We may experience becoming one with our guides, our ancestors, and humanity in general. We enter the infinite world of possibility.

Breaking through our usual level of consciousness can bring awe, magnificence, and power. It can also bring a fear of the unknown, and a feeling of destabilization. As we move into the higher dimensions, we need time to integrate. Eckhart Tolle talks about experiencing a tremendous amount of emotional pain, asking God for help, and instantly breaking through into an entirely new Reality. After the breakthrough, he sat on a park bench for two years to adjust. We all need a little time to adjust to the ups and downs of waking up.

There comes a point in our journey when challenges have very little to do with our childhoods, or personal issues, even though we still see repeating patterns that seem restrictive and outdated. But when we really start to experience the Wonder of Life, we are entering the realm of multi-dimensional, consensual reality. In this way we start living in the joy of the heart-center. We begin to radiate joy out into the expansive Reality of Existence.

Moving as: If we choose to continue to expand our doorway of consciousness, we will inevitably stumble into unchartered territory that propels us into bliss, robs us entirely of our identity, burns up our personal stories and occasionally hurls us into periods of disorientation and uncertainty. We will still say “yes,” as we continue to move towards, and with, but now will we find ourselves occasionally existing in an entirely new way. We will feel the physical world in a new way. It will appear to be quite transparent as we perceive through the higher, lighter, frequencies. We will glimpse the world as the Magical Plan of illusion, all while our feet are solidly on the ground. We are Life expanding.

A hand reaches up for a blue cup in the cabinet. A being-form, called Barbara, exists as the entire universe. This is both exhilarating and discombobulating. Remember, the Circle of Light tells us, “Trust that your expanded consciousness is your light body…Your super consciousness already understands these processes and is using them in your Creativity.” Wow!

Heart series #10: Alignment

“Every Now and Then the Stars Align” by Thomas Hawk | CC BY-NC 2.0

This post is #10 in the blog series: Heart. See the series overview page for a list of all posts.

Heart Series recap

We began this Heart Series to help us move toward our fullest, most fruitful, most joyous life. The mysteries and capabilities of the heart become a direct route to discovering the profundity of who we really are. So, we set out to review and unravel the Heart’s amazing abilities and revelations.

We considered the quantum field of physics. We looked at the work of various researchers. We discovered that love, the heart, has everything to do with who we are and how we behave. If it were not for love, we would not exist. Love is the gold standard of Life. Love is at the very heart of everything.

We looked at our wounded hearts, at how we by-pass our hearts through thoughts, feelings, and unconscious beliefs. We inventoried our wounded hearts. We discovered the gifts of human experience, exploration of unconscious beliefs, and ways to use feelings to expand the understanding of life.

We looked how we can learn to trust the universe and accept all parts of ourselves. We tried out important heart exercises like, Take Everything to the Heart and the Personal Heart Dialogue. We examined layers and levels of self-love, all the way to radical Self Love. Now, we’ll end this heart-felt series by taking a look at the most important heart-space of all—the space of total, balanced, Alignment.


We often find ourselves being drawn to certain things. But in the end, the Circle of Light tells us, “Life is quite simple.” To demonstrate what I mean, I’d like to share the alignment I witnessed back in 2005 as I was walking high up in the Colorado mountains:

Awareness arises as vacancy, total no-thing-ness
Slowly … divine … qualities … become … noticed
Love … Joy … Peace … Comfort
Basic Reality comes into being

Worldly physical appearance shines through
Clothed in a gentle sheath of love
Projecting Itself through the gift of form
For humankind to see and understand

There are no words to describe, express or explain
Only when directly experienced is energy of the Heart
Able to Communicate Its Wisdom to humankind
Pure, simple, unadulterated

Within our bubble of projection
Lies the phenomenal world
Filled with thinking, feeling, sensation
Products of the divine ego mechanism
Meant to provide tools for horizontal functioning
And gateways for traversing the vertical domains

The Totality of Functioning shines forth
Through Pure Heart Awareness
Simple Being, Aligned, in Balance
It is, I Am, this total divine morphing
This one constantly changing eternal moment
Undulating, gestating, ”doing its thing”
When simple Awareness pervades
All is One Benevolent Movement

So, how do we humans come to experience more and more of such simple life dimensions?

From a down-to-earth brain science perspective, Jules Taylor Shore tells us:

“Integration is key. When we have integration, we are more flexible, adaptive, coherent, energized, and stable. When we are in the information flow pathways of the brain…we end up with harmony, like in a choir.”

From a higher dimension, the Circle of Light says:

“In truth, the most powerful thing is you want to have the whole system be in balance. You want to bring the high frequencies down into Earth consciousness….if you don’t have the grounding, you can’t maintain the balance of holding the high vibrational frequencies in such a way that they are able to be experienced in the Earth plane dimension….Invite the wisdom and the energy of the Earth to come into your energetic field. This will bring balance into your energy field so that you can hold a perfect balance between being human and being spirit. This is the best way to enjoy your life experience.”

I guess in the end, Life is all about aligning with our hearts, balanced with the universe. Carry water. Chop wood. Drive car. Watch sunset. Live life to the fullest.

Heart series #9: Self Love

“Infinity Erupts” by FotoGrazio | CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

This post is #9 in the blog series: Heart. See the series overview page for a list of all posts.

Intro: We want to explore another area of the heart. We want to learn about self-love. We want to move into self-love. This is where we love ourselves fully. This is where we are able to live with authenticity, integrity, and joy. So, I’m going to dive into the concept of self-love, having no idea of what I’ll find. If you are ready for an adventure, please come with me. Let’s explore.

Lack of self-love

One morning I happened to listen to an online video about Living a Miraculous Life presented by Marci Shimaff and Dr. Sue Morter. They declared, “You must know and own your own miracles. You are worthy, you deserve it.” Everything was going along nicely until they asked a few questions about self-love. “Do you feel uncomfortable when people give you complements? When you get a gift, do you feel you have to give back? Do you play down your achievements?” Well, in horror, I flunked all of these questions.

Just the day before, a neighbor left a beautiful gift basket outside our door. It was gorgeous, filled with edible goodies. I said in a panic, “But we hardly ever speak with this neighbor and don’t really know her.” While the rest of the family was admiring and unwrapping all the goodies, I was in a dither about how to pay her back. Then I remembered how uncomfortable I am when people give me compliments. I usually try to deflect or change the subject. I realized I don’t know how to receive! I also know that self-love is not selfish, like my mother would claim. All of this thinking got me really wondering about self-love, so I decided to listen to a recording by the Circle of Light titled The Importance of Self Love.

Lessons from on high

The Circle of Light, a collection of light beings channeled by Georgia Jean, say they “cannot overstate the importance of self-love.” This was discouraging as I had just flunked the miraculous life self-love test and had concluded that I really didn’t have much love for myself. I continued to listen:

“Self-love is a very important aspect in your life and in the universe…. You need self-love. Your heart must feel worthy in order to bring what you desire into the world.”

Yikes, I really have to get on top of this self-love thing. But something seems amiss. Many things in my life have come through—a loving husband, a supportive family and friends, fantastic inquiry partners. I have a nice home and enough resources to be secure. My spiritual guides have led me to write a book and continue to guide me in writing these blog posts. So, why do I have the nagging feeling that I really don’t love myself?

I keep listening, “Self-love exists throughout every level and layer of your being.” Now this is interesting. Maybe there’s hope. Maybe my self-love exists in layers, or ways in which I’m not yet aware. Maybe when I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off when a neighbor dropped off a gift, I was just experiencing a lack of self-love because of my social conditioning. I was operating out of my egoic frequency. At other levels I might have handled the gift situation with calmness and grace.

The Circle of Light, which does exist in a higher dimension, explains that we humans have “a deep programing of not being valued.” This programing is “left over from old survival blueprints which are no longer needed.” This deep programing is fertile ground for thought as we contemplate how we do, or don’t, experience self-love. Note: To learn more about different frequencies and the old survival blueprint, please read the 3D-5D series.

I continue to listen to The Importance of Self Love.

“Humans get confused because they continue to experience stressful, or disturbing events, even when they think they are putting positive intentions out into the world. Humans don’t want to continue to experience distress. They prefer positive feelings. [But the Circle explains that life works in other ways. It operates according to different dimensions.] When humans label things as good or bad, these are simply attempts of your deeper self to draw attention to its experience….We want you to know that we are working to bring the unconscious aspects of yourself to the surface so that you can have more awareness of what you are actually putting out into the world.

“You may consciously say ‘I love myself’ but not really mean it, or experience love only on certain levels…When ‘negative’ things occur like anger or sadness or depression, it is a message from a higher dimension of you that wants you to be curious.

“Self-love is what fuels the flames of creativity….The creative experience comes from all vibrational frequencies that you are putting out. You are Creative beings….If you can allow yourself to get out of the way of receiving, and allow what arises to come into form, then you are able to push the vanguard of what is going on in the world.”

Hearing this, I say to myself, “Take a look, risk a bit, learn something new.’” And then guess what happens.

Self-love gets buried

That very same evening, I watched a movie “The Lost Daughter” with two men who at first made fun of the film, believing that nothing was really happening. This incident got me extremely upset. To discover why this happened I explored the incident in my journal the next morning.

Journal entry: Shame surfaces. I really laid into my husband last night when the movie ended. In retrospect I was unconsciously dumping tons of shame that I had accumulated about being a female. The way he had responded to the movie made me feel that he was naive, clueless, unaffected, and could care less about the interior workings of others. This I experienced as an affront to me and all women. It took me until this morning to ferret out why this incident triggered me so. (It’s a good thing I have a gentle, forgiving, and patient husband.)

This is what I’m remembering now. Growing up, society taught me that being a female was of less worth. My father used to say “pretty good for a girl.” Ha. Ha. But it was not funny; it felt like a put down. The day I passed my doctoral exam, feeling wonderful and walking across the college green, a local young teenage boy made a sexual remark to me, just because he could. While teaching on the college level, it quickly became clear that women did not receive tenure, even though they had published more than the men. When I received my doctorate, my father warned me not to get too far ahead of my husband. And on and on memory went—bringing up thousands of old messages which flooded in and taught me that women were devalued and degraded in our society. OK, I know I am on a rant and can’t seem to not stop myself. This memory stream is not coming from a dimension of self-love. On second thought maybe this experience is coming from a higher level, in order to get me to learn something new.

Self-love comes in through feelings

When I was railing at my poor husband, I hadn’t realized that my rant was due to shame. So, I go to my “feelings bible,” which is Karla McLaren’s book, The Language of Emotions: What your feelings are trying to tell you. I look up shame on page 197. Shame is about restoring integrity. One of the “gifts” of shame is self respect. I hadn’t been aware that I had been feeing shame about being a woman. This personal shame had been deeply hidden. Many times, during my life I had responded to incidents with anger, or hurt, but did not realize that I carried a burden of shame. Now it was time to look even more deeply into self-love.

Self-love comes through community

I remember a few times in my life where I did feel deeply loved and accepted. One time was when I traveled to surprise a friend for her birthday. We had known each other from the age of four. I had always felt welcomed by her warm and rowdy family. When I arrived at the party unexpectedly, l could hear voices excitedly whispering, “Barb’s here. Barb’s here.” I had never felt more welcomed in my life.

Another memory comes from an experience with my “5 Around” group. We’d been meeting for years. We started as a group of professional women, quite uncommon at the time, comparing notes and drawing up our organizations’ charts. Yet quickly we were having sleepover retreats and staying up until 2:00 AM telling dirty jokes. When there was a moment in my life where I felt completely at sea, I called the group. They quickly assembled, from meetings and hikes in the woods, to come to my rescue. I could feel their love and genuine support coming toward me. In retrospect, I suspect this incoming love was coming from an unfamiliar level. It was coming from a higher dimension. As I allowed this love-frequency to flow through me, my old egoic cocoon was stripped away. Accepting love from others definitely feels like a form of self-love.

Recently, while meeting online with my Quantum Power group, I experienced still another form of self-love. This love was of the nature of the collective. While sharing space on Zoom, we found ourselves deposited in a simultaneous Field of Love. No words spoken, there was no need, and yet we all understood there was a loving kind of communication going on among us. Somehow, we were united in a wonderous loving frequency—buzzing with gentle energy. A higher collective dimension was presenting Itself to us. This amazing, no-word dimension transported us all. In retrospect, I realize this is yet another way to experience self- love, a love which includes the most personal individual self while embracing the gigantic love of the field that just IS.

Radical self-love comes through

It’s three o’clock in the morning and I’m writing about self-love. What the heck! Something is coming up. There is an urge to receive. But what message is so important that it drives me out of bed in the middle of the night?

As I sense into my body, I observe some kind of split going on. One part of me is floating aimlessly around, feeling lost and alone. There is a sense of not being lovable or deserving. These are old beliefs, acquired early on. Yet, they are still alive, living in an unconscious reservoir deep inside me. At the same time, I’m experiencing a deep inner sense of not being separate, of belonging, the kind of deep love and devotion that I experienced with my Quantum Power group.

Wait, how is it that I can feel that I’m not lovable, or deserving, on one hand, and at the same time, know deep down that this is not true? These understandings are in conflict. They don’t mesh.

On one side, I see when my unconscious reservoir gets triggered, I have no stable self. I feel lost, alone, separate, and unloved. There is no support. This frequency leads me to a lack of trust, a lack of self-love.

On the other side, no, wait, what I’m experiencing at this moment is not another side. This frequency is the whole thing! It’s expansive, all-encompassing. Radical. Whoa, this is radical self-love! There’s a sense of belonging, really being welcomed, a sense of truly being at home, with my higher power and my self. I see that I am part of everything. I am part of everyone, I am part of each one of you. I am One with Source Itself.

This is what radical Self Love is all about. Thank you, for getting me up in the middle of the night, for giving me this wonderful lesson. Now, I’m going to take my radical self-love back to bed, but don’t worry, I realize there is still so much I don’t know about self-love.

Heart series #8: Let your heart talk to you

Jesse’s Rose

This post is #8 in the blog series: Heart. See the series overview page for a list of all posts.

This Personal Heart Dialogue is a key tool for discovering what the heart has to say. I love this exercise! I’ve come to use it spontaneously when I’m curious about what’s happening on the inside. I use this dialogue in the middle of a muddle, or in the middle of the night when I find myself awake. I’ve used this exercise with my family, sent it off to friends and emailed it to inquiry partners.

The following exercise is based on the latest brain research, but who cares, because by now we realize that the heart trumps the brain every time. The brain only receives information, but heart consciousness is what leads the way. When our heart is open it moves us toward our best self, to our truth. When our heart gets shut down, our consciousness becomes limited. We move off center and often find ourselves amuck. When we are willing to engage in a dialogue with our heart, the simplicity of what we find is often surprising and profound. We find that our heart really does know best. I am excited to share this exercise with you.

Personal heart dialogue

Let’s begin with a basic outline of the procedure, along with a bit of information about what may be experienced. (I have encountered this procedure in various forms. What follows is a simple compilation of what I have found to work.)

  1. Shift focus from mind to heart. Keep focus in the heart.
  2. Shift to slower breathing. Four counts on the inhale, eight counts on the exhale. Try six on exhale if needed. (I do about 15 complete breaths, in and out.)
  3. Choose a positive feeling. Feel gratitude, love, peace, abundance, whatever. Say thanks for all the things you have in your life. Place your hand on your heart if you wish.
  4. Ask your heart three questions. The first two questions will always be the same. “My heart, my heart, what do you want me to know right now?” Next, “My heart, my heart, what do you need from me right now?” The third question will be one of your own, whatever you’d like to ask. Make your question concise. Use a single sentence or a brief phrase. Be direct. Most of us have something that we would like to ask. Maybe we are looking for direction, have something to decide or have a question about life. Your question can be about anything–a job, relationship, health, healing, how you live, etc.
  5. Begin each question with the words, “My heart. My heart.” The answers that come will be brief, direct, concise, objective, and non-judgmental. Answers may come as images, feelings, words, or sensations. Everyone is different. Your answers will feel right on. If you are getting a lot of judgements, open your eyes, shift, do some more slow breathing to get out of your head, and begin again. Do not chase answers. Let the answers come gently to you.

OK, it’s time to give it a try! Just follow the steps below to discover what your heart wants you to know. Let your heart talk to you. Don’t try too hard, just let the answer float in.

  1. Shift your focus from mind to heart. Slide your brain down into your heart.
  2. Shift to slower breathing, 4 counts on inhale, 8 on exhale.
  3. Choose a positive feeling, keep it in your heart.
  4. Ask questions. Begin each question with the words, “My heart, my heart.” (Close your eyes and just let the answer drift in.)

1st Q: My heart, my heart, what do you want me to know right now?

2nd Q: My heart, my heart, what do you need from me right now?

3rd Q: Now ask your specific question. Let the answer come to you. “My heart, my heart………….”

When you are done, inhale, release, open your eyes and become present.

I hope you find this Personal Heart Dialogue as eye-opening as I do. Remember, memories and information are stored in the quantum field, beyond the mind. Our bodies serve as antennas to receive information from that field. As Gregg Braden says in the Forbidden Science course, “This is a highly advanced, technological ability that we humans have. Machines will never be able to do this.” Many researchers, like HeartMath and Dawson Church have already demonstrated that we humans can sense beyond the limits of time and space by using specialized neurons in the heart. And of course, you’ll remember that the Circle of Light explains that we humans actually have Superhuman Powers when we are willing to engage.

One reason I love to present this Personal Heart Dialogue is because it’s great in all kinds of situations. You may use it when you want to create, write a book, start a project, take a risk, or discover something new. When you are working to create something, write a book like, start a project, take a risk, discover something new. When you inquire deep within, this exercise will trigger your neurons to configure in just the right way to attune to the place in the field that holds the information you are seeking. A real-life example follows.

Rose’s heart dialogue inquiry

A good friend, who is also a subscriber to this website, called me in distress. She said, “I don’t know what to do! I don’t know how to inquire. I feel awful. I want to look into this, but don’t know how.” Rose talks. I listen, take a few notes, and make a few comments.


Rose: I’m so upset. My husband is so gruff—wanting things his old-fashioned way. My mind keeps going back to the past, haunting me. You know, women weren’t treated very well back then. We were second class citizens. ‘Good girls don’t do this; good girls don’t do that. Keep your dress down. Listen to your father. Be good. You need to do what’s right for your husband, for your children. You don’t know what’s best. Just go along. Be nice.’ I can’t stand it. I just want to be myself! I want to explode. I feel awful. I don’t want to feel like this. I don’t want to look into this, but if I don’t, I’ll be by-passing my heart. And I don’t want to do that.

Me: Wow, Rose, you really seem to be in a quandary. You don’t want to explore, yet you think you should, and you don’t think you know how to do it.

Rose: I don’t know what to do.

Me: Why don’t we just stay open and see what happens.

Rose: OK. I’m going to slow down and take a look at what comes up…. I notice I feel stress in my legs. They feel kind of sluggish. (observation) Maybe it’s because I have COVID. (analysis) I’ve got to move through this by-pass. (judgement) (Note: the statements in parentheses are all coming from the head.)

Me: What’s going on in your heart right now?

Rose: Oh yeah, like in the heart meditation. I’m going to breathe and ask my heart about this situation. “My heart, my heart, what do you want me to know right now?”

Heart: You need not analyze. You need not judge.

Rose: “My heart, my heart, what do you need from me right now?”

Heart: Follow the wisdom of your heart.

Rose: “My heart, my heart, what do I do now?”

Heart: Stay close to home. Go out in the sun. See how your feel. Let us speak to you.

Rose: Oh, something is happening right now. There’s a deepening thing going on. I need to own it more. I was putting past hurt into what I’m feeling now. I couldn’t see who I really was. Whoa, I’m speaking my truth right now! It feels good. Ahaa, I’m feeling into an empty space. It’s actually interacting with me right now. There is something there. It’s Love!


So, what’s your heart got to say? When you do this exercise for yourself what do you find? How did it feel to actually listen to your heart? How did the dialogue process go for you? What did your heart have to say? Were there any surprises? Maybe your heart gave you hope, or comfort, or love, or joy, or peace. Maybe it told you something you knew all along but had forgotten. My hope is that you will enjoy engaging with your heart directly. This Personal Heart Dialogue can become quite handy. It’s basically like learning to use a new muscle, which goes far beyond the brain. So, try it out. Have fun.

Heart series #7: Take everything to the Heart

“Love” by SpacePirate82 | CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

This post is #7 in the blog series: Heart. See the series overview page for a list of all posts.

Taking everything to the heart is tremendously important for our personal and spiritual development. Yet while the latest brain research shows that the heart is key to becoming our best, fully coherent selves, most of us have not learned how to do this. We stay doggedly in our heads.

The latest research in physics demonstrates that we come from a quantum web of love. It tells us that we humans are the same medium that makes up everything—puppies, trees, stones, turnips, thunderstorms, and yes, even ourselves. We are an inherent part of Oneness, a United Field of Existence. Yet again, most of us limit ourselves to our heads.

And why limit ourselves? When he was asked, “Why are you here?”, Dawson Church, author of Brain Bliss, responded, “To give and receive love! To connect with the universe with a huge heart and open mind in every moment.”

Then we have the Circle of Light, a collection of light beings dedicated to human enlightenment, channeled by Georgia Jean. The Circle of Light explains that we have the power to be our greater selves. We have the ability to train our hearts to override our heads. We can learn to master our consciousness. We can learn to flow with ever-present, on-going, reality. They explain that anchoring in the heart is key, that the intelligence of the heart far exceeds the information we’ve learned through our egoic minds. They tell us to take everything to the heart and see what happens. (I talked about this in my book.) The following Heart Skill Practice was revealed to me by the Circle of Light. So, let’s go for it. We can do this. We can let the heart do the work.

The Heart Skill Practice

Notice what’s happening inside. Pause. Trust. Stop trying to manipulate your experience.

Entrain your brain/heart connection. Slide your usual mind-brain down into your heart-brain. It’s been discovered that the heart has brain cells of its own. You are learning to switch from your habitual ego-stream of consciousness to the on-going multidimensional consciousness of the heart.

Deposit the contents of your mind into your heart. Just plop it right in. Your energetic heart is like the sky, open and clear. The vast spaciousness of your heart can take in everything–love, happiness, clouds, storms, whatever. Nothing can disturb your infinite heart. As the Circle of Light says, this is where your Super Consciousness resides.

Notice your emotions. Feel what’s underneath—a bit of panic, a lot of disappointment, sadness, joy–whatever.

Love and Accept everything that arises

Say, “I love and accept this sadness, shame, anger, aloneness, or x.” Realize there is trapped energy that accompanies your feelings. This is the old energy that wants to be seen, harvested, released, set free.

Take Everything into your heart

The Circle of Light says the heart is the center of Master Consciousness. It is the center of Creativity. Within your heart is where daily manifestation emerges. So, pay attention.

Run energy through an infinity eight loop between your thymus and heart. This energetic movement purifies your old, limited energy, transforming it into clean, amazingly new, energetic potential.

Now just practice. See what your heart can do for you.

This heart skill, like any other, takes work and persistence. Set your intension. Ask for help. The Field is waiting for you to ask. With practice, the capability to deposit things in the heart moves along with deftness. With practice, this skill leads to greater peace and confidence on a day-to-day basis.

Here is my wish for the future. I would like us to help humanity by bringing the hate, fear, and distrust down from our heads into our hearts and purifying that negative energy through the infinity eight loop between our thymus and hearts. I would like our work to help absorb and release the old accumulation of muck, both in ourselves and others.

So, when things come up that we don’t like, why don’t we just say, “I love and accept this part of me. This is my human part. I am evolving. This heart practice is for me and humankind.”

Let’s pull together. Unite. Collectively add to the evolution of Earth. Let’s move the human race towards greater peace, love, compassion, and joy. After all, the best is yet to come. When we make the heart practice a daily habit, we help ourselves, others, and the planet to be more awake.

Heart series #6: Trust and allow

“Trust” by Cornelia Kopp | CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

This post is #6 in the blog series: Heart. See the series overview page for a list of all posts

The Circle of Light, a collection of light beings, explains that:

“Most of the conflict that occurs within human beings is fueled by the egoic mind….this mind is racing around in conflict with all the various aspects of itself…. there are a million different voices inside putting in their two bits about what to do or not do. ‘You shouldn’t have done that, why did you do this, or when are you going to do that?’ If you can truly acknowledge that all those aspects are at war within yourself, you will be able to realize that each of those bits is just a part of your consciousness that deserves and wants love.”

The Circle of Light goes on to explain that when humans

“come into real unity consciousness, the consciousness of the heart, this allows all experiences to exist without labeling them. You can simply do this by choosing to love and accept all those different parts within yourself and bring them into a unified place. This is what will truly get you into the flow, into the zone of creation.”

Over the years, I have learned that the ego has the right idea. It wants engagement, fulfillment, and satisfaction. The problem is it’s got the wrong strategy, one that was adopted at a very young age. But I know the ego can be sent out for job training! We can help our ego mind mature, grow up. We’re not trying to get rid of the ego; we just want it to be able to receive the vast ocean of love that is available to us.

I’ve discovered that we need to trust ourselves. We need to trust Life as it unfolds. These have been hard lessons for me to learn. It’s only recently that I truly am allowing myself to trust Life. The results of this trust continue to deliver longer, and more frequent, periods of happiness, bliss, creativity, and wellbeing. I give great thanks.

Trust and Accept all parts of yourself

When we accept each and every part of our being human, we open to higher frequencies. When I first heard the Circle of Light say, “Accept every part of you”, it sounded terrible! Why would I want to accept my anger, my fear, my discomfort, my not knowing? But as I practiced, I discovered that accepting all my parts led to some amazingly good things. I realized when I accept all parts of myself, I am not loving their form, I am loving the energy that created that form. I am loving the very energy field that animates me.

Remember, all our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and sensations are just part of Life’s creative energy. And each part wants to be seen. It wants to be free to experience. I want to release its limiting energy. It’s only the old ego strategy that wants to hold on to what feels good and reject whatever feels bad. But my higher self says, “Bring the experience on. Bring it all on!”

Total acceptance practice

During a reading with the Circle of Light, they asked me to sit quietly and really focus on myself. They asked me to become aware of all the things I was feeling or thinking in the very moment. This could be about a person, an experience, a situation, or my life in general. They asked me to repeat the following over and over again, I LOVE AND ACCEPT THE PART OF ME THAT……. and this is what I’ve been practicing ever since.

I now use this statement in the following way. First, I identify what I am feeling and where it is located in my body. Next, I use the “I love and accept this part of me” statement. Then I add a statement of trust. This is because the Circle of Light suggests, “Learn how to mold your resistance [to evolving] by choosing belief structures that create a higher belief, a higher identity, that really supports you.” Below are examples of how I’ve applied this process in my daily life.

Feeling: “If it wasn’t for __, I wouldn’t be feeling this way.” Acceptance: I love and accept the part of me that blames. Trust: I know my higher power is bringing up this experience so that I can learn something more about myself.

Feeling: I’m so angry I could spit. Acceptance: I love and accept the part of me that feels angry. Trust: Wow, this feeling is filled with old, trapped, energy that wants to be released. What potential!

Feeling: I’m confused. Acceptance: I love and accept the part of me that feels confused. Trust: In this moment, I tune into the highest possible vibrational level. I go to my inner place.

Feeling: I’m totally frustrated. Acceptance: I love and accept the part of me that is frustrated. Trust: I notice what my body feels like when I am in touch with my ego-self. But I also remember how it feels to be with my Higher Power. I fill my heart with gratitude and compassion.

Feeling: I feel alone and lost. Acceptance: I love and accept this part of me that feels separate. Trust: I know my higher self is bringing up this pattern for me see. I am aware of my greater reality. I am an intricate part of the United Field.

Feeling: This is really hard. Acceptance: I love and accept the part of me that encounters hard times. Trust: I am grateful for obstacles. They challenge me to know my inner self more completely and move toward my higher power.

Feeling: I’m feeling afraid or anxious. Acceptance: I love and accept the part of me that fears. Trust: This part of me is ancient. It’s part of the old blueprint for humanity. It’s no longer needed in this situation. There are no lions that are about to pounce.

Accepting ourselves is not about excluding the dark parts of us, or even about darkness itself. Darkness can be quite beautiful.

Acceptance is about including every single part of who we are. It’s about coming to realize that we, as individuals, are all an integral part of the United Field of Life. If we can accept and love our “shadow” aspects, it’s much more powerful than going around suffering with our ego identities. When we do nothing to move toward our more joyful, expanded, selves we will just remain stalled, unhappy, and unaware. We will just reinforce our limited, unconscious experience which is what keeps us in the same old habitual loops.

It is far more important to be authentic. So why not just say, “Oh well, I feel sad. I love the part of me that feels sad. I’m human. This feeling is just one part of my experience.” When we take the time to do the work of acceptance, we gradually wake up. We shift our vibrational level in an authentic way. We’re not fooling ourselves. We’re not in denial. We are allowing ourselves to blossom within the full unification experience.

I like to remember what the Circle of Life says:

“Life keeps adding different elements. The soul really enjoys exploring the new things that have emerged, the new possibilities, and realms of experience. This is what the soul loves. What continues to expand consciousness, is its exploration of itself. The key is to ask yourself, “how can I love and accept myself more right now?”

Next: Heart series #7: Take everything to the Heart

Heart series #5: Hidden Opportunities

“Treasure chest” by timtom.ch | CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

This post is #5 in the blog series: Heart. See the series overview page for a list of all posts.

We’ve been looking at how we can learn to let our hearts lead us instead of our heads. Allowing the heart to lead is a magnificent way to get to know who we really are, and why we behave in the way that we do. It’s also a direct path to experiencing our Higher Power.

The gift of human experience

The Circle of Light is a group of light beings channeled by Georgia Jean. The Circle explains that we have an immense opportunity, which is to live a life as a human being. They tell us that we are here for a reason, “You have come to the Earth plane in order to experience… and having a human body is the quickest way to gain experience.” The Circle explains that we humans reap huge benefits from exploration. They tell us:

“You have an enormous soul-consciousness, and this consciousness loves to explore so much, that it keeps adding new and different things for you to experience.”

They implore us to look at every single part of ourselves, to explore every possible aspect of what it is to be alive. They explain that when we dive deep within ourselves, we receive new encouragement.

“This begins to change the organic game of your environment; it evokes and provokes new levels and new flavors of teachings to come through. In terms of spiritual understanding, this kind of wisdom has been essential throughout the history of humankind.”

In essence, the Circle asks us to take advantage of our time on Earth. They say that when we choose to have the intention to explore, it accelerates our direction. They exist to support our search. They invite us to get to know the more “unconscious manifested parts” of who we are, and to explore our feelings.

The gift of unconscious beliefs: an exploration

As I look back at my journey, I’ve learned a bit about how the Unified Field works. Often it uses just the right circumstances to deliver important messages for inner growth. I call this the setup. These messages get delivered in all sorts of ways. Some learning opportunities come to us in common ways, like births, deaths, tragedies, celebrations or being out in nature. Other messages come in unique and crazy ways, like dreams, visions, instant downloads, happenstance, or synchronicities. Many potential insights are buried within our everyday thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Sometimes these realizations pop up right out of the blue, completely surprising us. One of these opportunities recently happened to me:

The setup: I’m on my way to a doctor’s appointment. Rain, cars jammed up at traffic lights, waiting, waiting, waiting. Finally arrive at my destination. Can’t find doctor’s office. Not listed on the directory. Discover I’m at the wrong location! How could this be? Confused. Have to travel to the other side of town. Find myself on single laned streets lined with construction cones. Drive on and on. My dyslexia kicks in. Something is wrong. Have no idea where I am. I’m lost. Panic. Holding back tears. Don’t know what to do. Call the office for directions. I’ve been going in the wrong direction! Now crying, driving, creeping along. Finally, get to the correct office. I’m totally disoriented now. Lost. Confused. Alone. Go to the check-in window. Woman says, “You do not have an appointment today. The doctor is not in. You received a call.” (Didn’t.) That can’t be! Ask her to check. “You are not in our records. You haven’t been here for two years.”

Now, I’m completely befuddled. I can’t understand. It’s like I’m invisible, like I don’t exist. I’m in the wrong place. I can’t tell direction. There’s no support!

Driving home from my ghost doctor’s non-appointment, deep fear kicks in. Not knowing where I am. Not understanding what’s going on. There are no placeholders, nothing to attach onto, nothing to count on. It’s so scary, so discombobulating.

When I get home, I make hot tea, intentionally sit, and the inquiry begins. Free floating thoughts, feelings, beliefs flood in. I’m nowhere. No one is around, I’m not on the doctor’s list. I have no records. I’m invisible. I don’t even exist! I’m just floating in space with no attachment, no connection, no control. This feels dreadful.

What am I to learn from these horrible feelings, this unsettling experience? What does it have to teach me?

My ongoing inquiry continues. Later in the day, I realize that I have unconsciously learned to do things, to act, in order to prove that I am actually in this physical world. I act to decrease a more intense suffering of feeling that I don’t exist at all. The act of doing is how I connect to life and to people. I realize my cells are still imprinted with the old child-like need to be seen, heard, validated, loved. When these old needs aren’t met my biological history triggers the feeling that I actually don’t exist! This is like my premature birth experience of being kept in a metal incubator with no windows for twenty-one days, people not allowed to touch me in my metal womb. (link to incubator post) This old, cellular, experience is telling me I don’t actually exist in human form.

Is this true? No. For crying out loud, I’m writing in my journal right now. I do exist. I exist in physical form in Planet Earth. I realize that exploring is helping me break through another hidden obstacle. And I remember, that often when I look into what’s behind my emotions, it opens the door to experiencing the higher realms of energy. Later, while meditating, completely open, reassuring messages gently float in, “You are loved. You exist in your present human body. You also have your own unique strand of the universal life force.” I give great thanks for this information.

In retrospect, I realize that my ghost doctor’s non-appointment was an amazing experience.

The gift of feelings: an exploration

Let’s look at the down-to-Earth work of Jules Taylor Shore. Jules is a dynamic therapist who works spontaneously from the heart. She explains that we need to learn to welcome our feelings, like it or not. The goal is not to make the feelings go away, it’s to discover what our feelings are trying to tell us. (More about this later.)

Jules uses many different modalities of therapy, as long as they are backed by what she knows about the workings of the brain. And what she knows is extensive. Once an auto mechanic, Jules understands the sequence of connections that are needed to make things run smoothy. In a flash of genius, Jules transferred what was needed to fire up a car engine to what was needed to fire up the brain.

For example, just think about your own experience. In times when you find our self highly charged, in trauma mode, your brain won’t listen. It can’ listen. It isn’t capable of understanding in a rational way. And it doesn’t want to listen to any stupid explanations! That’s because, when our systems are charged, the primitive brain stem is trying to protect itself.

On the other hand, when we have calmed down and feel safe, we are able to start listening. We can understand things, comprehend. We can step back and observe. In this calmer frequency learning can occur. Makes sense, huh? Note: Jules teaches a terrific course called Neurobiology of Heart, which I took and highly recommend.

To help us better understand our feelings, I’ve developed a list of ways to explore. This list is a compilation of what I’ve learned from Jules, other teachers, and my own experience of exploration.

Ten ways to explore feelings

  1. First we have to notice that we are having an emotion.
  2. Next we need to welcome the feeling. Go ahead, invite it in. We don’t want it to go away. After all, our higher power is sending us this feeling to explore. What are we going to say, “Wrong address, send it back.”?
  3. Notice where the feeling is in your body. Could be your head, heart, gut, big toe.
  4. Notice any images, thoughts, body sensations, and any other feelings that may come in.
  5. Ask, how do I feel towards what’s happening? If you’re having trouble, step back, take a more objective view. Witness. Try going up on the balcony or placing the feeling out in front of you. And then just stop, slow down, and let whatever wants to come, come to you. There is no right or wrong here, no efforting, no trying, just open allowing.
  6. Try various ways to explore the emotion or sensation. Journal. Draw the feeling on paper. It may be a triangle, circle, spiral, squiggle, or stick figure, who cares. Try using different colors. Hear sounds, smell smells, taste tastes. Pretend you are a young child playing—anything goes. It could even be fun.
  7. Stick with your exploration, even when you want to leave. The feeling that is presenting is trying to tell you something, give it a chance to give you some information that will help. Note: There are times when it is too painful to dive deep. So, just do as much as you can without putting yourself in more stress. Inquiry is a process, not a marathon. Whatever amount you can do, your heart will appreciate your intention and courage. In response, your heart will lead you forward at a pace that is just right for you.
  8. Describe whatever happens inside you as best you can. As a teacher once said to me, “If you have a big red radish in your chest, you have a big red radish in your chest.” If you have some discomfort or distress, describe what’s it like—hot, cold, big, small, tense, knotted up, flowing, frozen. Anything goes.
  9. Talk to the emotion or have it talk to you. No, this is not crazy, it’s just creative. If the green squiggle could speak, what would it say? It just wants to be seen, heard, feel safe, soothed, or know that it matters.
  10. Finally, no matter what happens, relax, and congratulate yourself for taking the time to learn more about your precious self.

Have fun exploring.

Heart series #4: Heart bypasses

This post is #4 in the blog series: Heart. See the series overview page for a list of all posts.

“‘Broken Heart'” by ImNotQuiteJack | CC BY-SA 2.0

Heart Series recap: Remember in this heart series we are going for the gold—living our most joyous lives and contributing to the world in a positive way. We’ve talked about how the frequency of love animates our lives. Quantum research shows that we are one shimmering United Field of existence. The Circle of Light wants us to know that we have much more power than we realize. When we practice the new paradigm of consciousness, it allows the heart to supersede the brain. Yet, life is not always easy or pleasant. It’s often downright difficult. In this series, we’ve acknowledged our wounded hearts and dabbled in the practice of inquiry. Now it’s time to explore how our head often overwhelms our heart, causing us to lose our way. However, what often appears as a detriment can become a profound opportunity. So here we go, we’ll take a look at what cuts us off from our hearts.

What cuts us off from our hearts

Heart bypass #1: Mind

Spiritual emergence pioneer Paul Levy, a longtime Tibetan Buddhist practitioner, calls the usual mind

“a psycho-spiritual disease of the soul — a mind-virus within each of us and the collective …which prevents us from living our full evolutionary potential….The good news here, is that we can learn how to differentiate between our neurotic monkey mind and the actual downloads from our higher soul-self.”

But the fact is most of us have learned to lead with our minds, not our hearts. This is a problem because the heart is way smarter than the head. Research has shown there are over 40,000 brain cells in the heart. Rollin McCraty, Director of Research at the HeartMath Institute tells us that our “energetic heart — NOT our brain — is the gateway to our higher self!” He says the good news is we can entrain our brains to be in a coherent state with our hearts. For more information, go to HeartMath Institute for research, programs, and practices.

Thoughts bypass exploration: Let’s spend some time throughout the day watching our minds, consciously, like a hawk. What is the mind doing? Is it keeping us busy, hijacking our attention, or just aimlessly wandering around? Is it getting lost in social media, the news, surfing the web, or grabbing every message as it comes in? Is it replaying the same old stories again and again? Is it soothing us by humming tunes, or providing mind-candy like our next treat or purchase? Is it bringing up lots of negative thoughts, fears, or doubts? Take a look.

We want to get to know our mind’s crafty ways. We want to catch the way our thoughts limit us to 3D thinking. We want to recognize how our mind keeps us from experiencing our higher 5D frequencies. We want to see how we fill our minds with thoughts that crowd out the experience of our fuller selves. We want to prepare our mind to welcome our Higher Power. We want to learn how to have our heart show us the way.

Heart bypass #2: Feelings

Feelings are a natural part of our make-up. We humans have many, many, emotions continually running through us: anger, compassion, disgust, frustration, joy, sadness, grief, happiness, boredom, guilt, love, appreciation, to name a few. Most often, we only want to experience the positive emotions, but that is not how life works.

HeartMath science reveals that our feelings register in an electromagnetic field around the heart. It shows that our heartbeat actually synchronizes with the systems in our bodies, the Earth, and the cosmos. Wow. When our neural systems are out of sync, this creates negative emotions like impatience, frustration, and anger, and then, fourteen hundred biochemical changes have a “depleting energy affect.” This is very different from feelings of love and compassion, which we prefer, and are out to foster. HeartMath research shows that the feeling of love and compassion renews our energy and are the very “spiritual structure of our larger self.”

Jules Taylor Shore, an extraordinary therapist, looks at feelings from another angle. She says:

“Feelings are just a biological thing. Whether you like it not, emotions often run your life. But when you can have good relationships with them, they don’t rule you. You can learn to talk to your feelings, so they feel seen. You can help them feel validated. You can tell them that they are all welcome. In this way, they won’t run you. Or you can try to ignore them and push them away. Then they will run you. The thing is you don’t get to not have emotions because that’s just the biology of being human.”

In the end, we discover that feelings are a natural part of our psychological, biological, and spiritual make-up. Life presents us with emotions for a reason. Our higher consciousness wants our nervous systems to be in sync. Our higher power longs for us to befriend our feelings and uncover the tremendous higher selves that we are underneath.

Heart bypass #3: Unconscious beliefs

The heart doesn’t hurt because it is too open. The heart hurts because it wants us to uncover and release old thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that hang us up. Uncovering unconscious beliefs is an enormous opportunity. It’s a gift, a chance to dive more deeply into who we really are.

Unconscious beliefs can affect us in mysterious, irrational, and detrimental ways. For example, sometimes when I am about to step into an elevator, I feel a very subtle fear. I’ve learned that this fear is an unconscious reminder of being trapped in a windowless incubator at birth. At other times, I notice that my heart is numb. Occasionally I discover that my heart freezes and I find myself thrown back into a frightened childhood state. These kinds of occurrences happen to us because of messages we’ve learned early on. They inhibit our living a full, healthy, vibrant life.

It’s true, our journeys haven’t been perfect or easy or pretty. At times our lives have been deeply painful. Yet, through our struggles we have developed, often unconsciously, our own unique way of trudging on. Much of the time we are being influenced by the early messages we’ve adopted long ago as children. To help us clarify what’s unconsciously going on I‘ve developed a Wounded Heart Inventory. The inventory is designed to help us ferret out our own, unique, thoughts, feelings and beliefs that make us unhappy and prevent us from living our higher self.

I’ve listed various ways that we humans have learned to close our hearts down. These wounded-heart-messages come from listening and working with hundreds of people through the years—friends, students, police, executives, people with whom I’ve done readings, and my own personal experience. The phrases appear in no particular order.

Wounded heart inventory

I’m not good enough, nobody cares about me, I’m not lovable, the world is not safe, I have to do everything myself, I must be in control, I don’t trust. I have no support, feel betrayed. I’m invisible, all alone, afraid, confused. I’m an imposter, want to hide, must do things right. I have to help people. I sabotage myself. I’m lazy, must keep busy, hide behind my work. If I don’t live up to others’ expectations, I’ll be abandoned. I’m angry a lot, or afraid, trapped, depressed restless, bored. I’m too old, too immature, too small. I’m not bright enough, worthless, a failure, If I try new things I’ll be rejected, put down, look foolish. I’m too weak, too strong, have no confidence. I’m too much, not enough, defiant, picky, bitter, indifferent, obligated, irritable, insecure, emotionally needy, anxious, overly disciplined, cynical, helpless, useless, incapable, deprived, if people only knew. I’m always looking for stimulation. I’m selfish, unwanted, unworthy, need physical contact, have no personal identity, no significance. I’m often envious, melancholy, self-doubting, inhibited, emotionally blocked. I’m ashamed, self-punishing, cowardly.

You get the picture. This list could go on and on. Please read and choose the beliefs, feelings, phrases that most resonate for you. This is a private inventory, only for you. You may use what you discover later when we explore the hidden gifts of our feelings and unconscious beliefs.

Next: Heart Series #5: Hidden Opportunities